


You Fell First But I Fell Harder

by cometomama66



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Louis' POV, M/M, Sad Louis, The Author hates Modest!, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis is still in love with harry, post breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 09:40:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12932571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cometomama66/pseuds/cometomama66
Summary: I broke my own heart writing this.





	You Fell First But I Fell Harder

Amidst the crowd when my eyes found yours, I knew. When you said that first 'oops' and I immediately replied with a 'hi', I knew. When we were put in the same band together and you automatically jumped into my outstretched arms, I knew. Those first days we spend together, exchanging stolen glances unknown to the rest of the boys? I knew.

The day you asked me to move in with you, is one I'll never forget. We hadn't known each other for long, it should've been awkward, it shouldn't have worked out, we were going too fast. But it wasn't, we got along so well (maybe too well) and I knew. You were so beautiful, so young, so innocent. You'd tell me you loved me, but you forgot that 'hate' has four letters too.

I remember those glorious few months we spent together. Untarnished by fame, consumed by love, you unaware of what was coming. You were so naive but I knew. Do you remember the times we got those matching tattoos? As the tattoo artist permenantly etched them into your skin, the rose, the anchor, the lock, my first 'hi'. You said that they symbolised our love, but you didn't realise that sometimes tattoos fade too. 

We used to think it was a game. We sat beside each other despite being told not to, publicly flirting not realising the consequences. We made it too obvious, there were too many hugs, too many glances, too many touches, too many words. I remember the time they told us about Eleanor. I watched helplessly as the tears slid down your cheeks; I tried to kiss them away but they shouted horrible, ugly words at us and it only made you cry harder. They decided it wasn't enough and in came Taylor. It broke me you know, seeing you with her. I had known all along but I still broke. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat; I lost so much weight. People noticed of course, but that was the problem. 

I remember the day you finally broke; the day you told me that it was time to move on. You had grown so much since the first time I saw you, you had stayed so strong even when I had crumbled. But I guess it got too much and I understand. I knew what we were doing wasn't healthy, but I've always been slightly self destructive; I'm sorry I was and I'm sorry I involved you in it too. 

We tried to stay friends, we really did, but like they say, love tore us apart. It all went to hell after that. Zayn left, and with all the tension between us I knew the band would never last. Not even Niall's happy-go-lucky personality could save it. So we went our seperate ways.

It's been 2 years now and we never even see each other anymore. I got back together with Eleanor and she's a lovely girl but she's not you. I see you on the news sometimes or on TV and you seem happy. It makes me insanely jealous sometimes; because while I lost myself you've somehow managed to find yourself. 

We were too good to be true and I knew, but I didn't want to believe it. Niall, Liam and I meet up sometimes but you're never there. I know I should move on, like you, but it's harder for me than it was for you; because you may have fallen first, but I fell harder.

**Author's Note:**

> would really appreciate feedback :)


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